Don’t Let Your Emotions Define How You’re Setting Yourself Up In A New Season
Yesterday was my husband's first day back at school since the beginning of March. I knew that I would have to get the kids on a new schedule so that we could all maximize our time productively (aka: mom needs to actually get work done so what is the easiest way to make that happen?) So for a few days leading up to this day I had been mentally preparing myself to get the kids on a new schedule.
Story Time
We wake up on Monday morning that first day and everything seems good Roman, my 2 year old, is a little extra snuggly but I decided to enjoy it instead of worrying about it. We get our breakfasts, the kids actually agree on what to watch on TV that morning, I’m setting up my work space for the day and all of a sudden I start hearing some noises coming from him. I can’t see he or Flynn directly but all I hear is, “Bubba’s choking!” Well, turns out he pukes all of his freshly eaten breakfast all over the carpet and himself. I, of course, totally switch gears to make sure he’s okay, strip him down, make sure Flynn doesn’t step in the puke, get him in the shower, yada yada. This cycle continues. All. Morning. Even after 3 showers, I still couldn’t shake the smell of puke from him or the carpet.
I Had 2 Choices
- I could get upset that my first day of a new schedule wasn’t going as planned and I wasn’t getting any work done and I had seven loads of laundry to do and I didn’t know how to get the smell of puke out of the carpet and I felt terrible for Roman and totally stressed out etc. or
- I could roll with the punches and play the hand that was dealt to me. I needed to focus on the things that needed done immediately and I could push work to the evening so that I could spend time loving on the kids.
Get This Through Your Head
Now this is a perfect metaphor for how you need to approach new seasons. First, let’s just get this out-of-the-way. Nothing is ever going to go exactly according to plan. If you can ingrain that principle in your mind and your planning, then you will be light years ahead of everyone else emotionally.
How? Because you are prepared for the outliers. Like in the story I was prepared to get the kids on a new schedule until a wrench was thrown into my plans. I could have gotten upset. My feelings would have been justified. But would those feelings have been productive for me or the kids? No, of course not. So I was able to regulate my initial emotions and flip that energy to something positive and productive.
Did my day turn out like I had planned or hoped? Absolutely not. But do I consider that day a bad day? No, absolutely not.
In this case, the outlook of my day was determined by how I shifted the energy of my emotions. Instead of getting upset, angry, sad, frustrated, I used that energy to re-prioritize my day. So instead of front loading my day with work like I normally would, I pushed everything back to that evening and the kids and clean-up took precedence. I actually got more done than I would have because I hyper prioritized and rode the momentum of that crazy morning into my work time.
How Can This Help You?
When you are walking into a new season, I want you to walk in with a mind that is set on finding (and actively searching out) opportunity. Not all seasons are good and not all seasons are bad. However, if you walk into either season with an eye for opportunity, you will find it no matter the situation.
Pulling opportunity examples from the story:
-I used Rome’s sickness as an excuse (like I need one…) to snuggle my babies.
-Since I was going to be lacking time, I hyper prioritized my day which allowed me to get more done than I would have otherwise.
-The house got cleaned in addition even though it wasn’t on my agenda for the day.
I mean, the opportunities and the rewards of having this skill, on this day were awesome. And how many people could say that of a day where their kid was puking all morning making a mess and preventing you from working? It doesn’t exactly sound like a great day, right? But with the skill of emotional intelligence, every day has the potential to be a great day.
